As much as I knew that you were the type of person that would say anything you felt like, you somehow still surprised me!
It’s true, in her own words, Kathy Griffin gives “less of a F@&K” than ever before–something she says is part of her way of honoring her good friend Joan Rivers. As we all know, the older someone gets, the less they care about what people think and to Kathy, that is quite liberating and exciting to watch. So, as a tribute to her friend, she’s decided to even further skirt any scrap of mental filtering that she may have had (as little as that may have been), and that made for quite a fun show.
I’ll give you a quick run down of the topics covered in case you missed it and are interested, but first I have to mention the refreshing way Kathy covered all of these topics. I’ve seen multiple comedians and while they may improv a bit from time to time, they’ve got nothing on the improvisation of Kathy’s act. While jumping from topic to topic like a kid who’s missed his dose of Ritalin, Kathy kept the audience on their toes and always alert. We literally had no idea what the next thing was going to be coming out of her mouth. We followed her from rabbit hole to rabbit hole as she remembered stories within stories. I’m convinced that she could have stood there for probably 3 straight nights without running out of funny anecdotes to share. So without further delay, here’s a brief synopsis.
- Kathy apparently arrived in Greenville via the Gaffney corridor and had a great deal to say about that. The biggest thing being that the Abbots seem to run entirely too much in that area and that we should fear them because they may have somewhat of a mob type connection. Something she wove into her act throughout the night.
- BBQ – everything around here is smoked and must be cooked for 7 days. Mac and Cheese is a vegetable side dish, and she ate her first hush puppies in a bowl of butter which she described as dunkin donut holes made of cornbread and delicious.
- Renee Zellweger – apparently Kathy once ruffled her feathers by calling her a puffy-faced coke whore, and Renee introduced her to the southern way of telling someone off by sending her flowers that said “best wishes”… kind of like when we say “bless yer heart”. Kathy now knows that this is the southern way of saying F you. However, they have since made up and Renee supposedly left a voice mail for her mid show, speaking in some weird accent that we could only barely decipher as Kathy listened to it “privately” on stage. Also, Kathy addressed all of the hoopla surrounding Renee’s “new look” and swore that beyond maybe having a little something done to her eyes, she hasn’t had any plastic surgery and is simply aging. She pointed out that the media was unfairly comparing her to her 20 year old self and it was ridiculous. Also, Kathy says she is basically an expert on having work done having had plenty of her own, so we should trust her opinion.
- Kim and Kanye – Kim’s butt is somehow continuing to grow. Kanye is legitimately crazy.
- TLC – they canceled honey booboo and it was time. Luckily they had some more little people waiting in the wings. The Learning Channel is apparently a mecca of shows about little people.
- The Duggars – enough is enough. While admitting she hasn’t read the King James version of the bible since middle school, she’s certain that there has to be a verse that says “If the Duggars ever exist, they should stop having kids.
- Harry Styles – Kathy landed in comedy heaven during a recent event where she was seated next to the entire Jenner family – except for Bruce- “she was busy” according to Kathy. But luckily, Harry Styles of One Direction happened to be accompanying one of the daughters and was extremely drunk. Kathy recounted a moment backstage where she witnessed Harry repeatedly asking Tom Hanks if he remembered when he played in Saving Private Ryan, Forrest Gump and Captain Philips to which Tom replied by turning to Kathy and saying “Sometimes I just want to drive them to rehab myself”. Oh, and Kathy also tried to run off with Harry’s signature coat and took a selfie in said coat which is just hilarious. The One Direction fans weren’t pleased.
There were plenty of other hilarious moments and I’m glad I got to see a refreshingly funny show. Thank you Miss Griffin, ma’am (she likes being called that), feel free to come back and make fun of us any time you’d like.
Dave Galloway – fête music manager, writer and FGTV host